Biking season is like deer season

If you’re a bicyclist who rides in Naperville, you’ll be interested to know that the cost of attacking you with a car has just been set by a DuPage County judge: 21 days, to be served in three-day increments over seven weeks. And although the attacker has been forced to give up her gun owner’s ID card, she’s apparently still allowed to drive her weapon of choice.

I wrote a post about this story last year. In a nutshell: Two teenagers are riding their bikes in downtown Naperville. A woman driving near them gets pissed and stomps on the gas, aiming her car at one of them. The kid jumps off safely, but she nails his bike, which gets wedged into her bumper and undercarriage. She drives home, dragging the bike along. It’s still stuck to her car when the police arrive and arrest her.

Last week the woman, Mary Rehm, pled guilty to one charge of aggravated battery and was sentenced to 42 days, of which she’s expected to serve 21 in a series of three-day stints starting on May 10. So she’ll have a late spring filled with exotic three-day weekends in the pokey.1

From the article in the Naperville Sun:

Rehm, a gun owner, was also ordered to surrender her firearms owner’s identification card as a condition of the sentence, according to court records.

While it’s nice to see that this unstable idiot is having her gun owner’s ID taken away, I don’t see why she still has her driver’s license. Even during her “sentence,” she’ll still be able to drive the attempted murder weapon around the scene of the crime four days a week.

Liberal, socialist, communist, whitey-hater that I am, I can’t help but think that had her name been Maria Ramirez rather than Mary Rehm, she wouldn’t have gotten off so lightly.

Be that as it may, cyclists should know how much DuPage County values them. Drivers should know it, too. Hate those cyclists who take up space on your roads? Got some vacation days coming? Tune up your engines and come to Naperville!

  1. “Pokey” was one of my grandfather’s favorite words, and I seldom get a chance to use it.