Bite me

Earlier today, Gabe Weatherhead recommended a very powerful compact flashlight. It’s a nice product, I’m sure, but it’s missing one feature that I’ve come to find very important in a flashlight: biteability.

You know what I mean. You’re working in the dark and need both hands free. Where does your flashlight go? In your mouth, of course. And to keep it pointed in the right direction, you need to be able to grip it between your teeth, so a metal barrel is out of the question. For several years now, I’ve been using a Brinkmann 3-watt LED Armor Max flashlight that runs on 3 AAA batteries. It has a plastic body with a rubbery grip around the barrel that makes it very tooth-friendly. It’s nowhere near as bright as Gabe’s, but it’s always been more than bright enough for my needs.

Brinkmann 3 watt flashlight

Yes, you can buy headband-mounted flashlights, but the great thing about this Brinkman is that it works perfectly well as a regular flashlight, and under normal circumstances you won’t look like a dork using it. And while you will look like a dork when you put it in your mouth, you only need to do that when there’s no one around to hold the flashlight for you and, therefore, no one around to see how dorky you look. Self-correcting!

I didn’t set out to find a biteable flashlight. I just happened to buy a Brinkmann because it was bright, compact, and water-resistant (O-rings seal the screw-on caps at either end) and learned later how helpful it was to have a flashlight I could hold comfortably in my teeth.