Dear Apple,

I have been an Apple user for 35 years. Do you have one minute for a little story? Thanks.

I have been trying to install your fucking OS update on my fucking watch for three fucking days now. First, I had to unpair and re-pair it because there wasn’t enough room for the update (even though I have very few apps on my watch). That was the only way to free up space because your storage management is for shit. Then it refused to update overnight despite telling me it was going to (in fairness, this wasn’t surprising—the iPad has been lying about updating itself overnight for ages). Now I’m trying to do the update manually, and I keep getting this fucking message:

Watch update error message

So I deleted the downloaded Software Update so I can try again. Why should this work? I have no idea; it’s like restarting a Windows machine. While I was deleting, I noticed that Music was taking up a lot of space because the fucking Heavy Rotation playlist was turned on again, despite my having turned it off.

You should all be ashamed of yourselves.